Category: silly

What can I say when people say I look familiar?

Sirius Mann of Someplace in Cleveland asks: I’m no good at recognizing faces, and when people tell me I look familiar, I tend to freeze up because there’s a pretty good chance we’ve met and I have no recollection of it. What can I say? Mr. Mann, You’re missing some golden opportunities here. There are many …

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Why we don’t need to fear Florida Man’s army of turtles

turtle trap

Trace Meadows of Pensacola, FL, writes to ask, I hear there’s someone threatening to conquer the planet with his army of turtles. Should I be concerned? The referenced item of news is this: Florida Man Threatens To Conquer Planet Earth With His Army Of Turtles. Trace, I don’t think we need to be concerned. Due to …

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Getting Rid of Mice

Susan Taitel of Minneapolis asks, Does anyone have a cat, owl, or preferably a snake I can borrow to scare off some mice? Also does anyone have a mongoose I can borrow to chase off the snake? Additionally does anyone know what mongooses are afraid of? Susan, First, I want it clearly understood that I …

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The Lizard Shelter

In honor of my recent visit to Reptile Gardens in Rapid City SD, I give you this giant lizard poem.

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Time travel cookbook

Dear Tyler (writes Dan The Man Williamson III of Duluth MN), I recently inherited a time machine, and I’d like to use it to indulge my passion for novel gourmet cookery. I have access to a range of now extinct ingredients, but my problem is that I don’t know which things are edible, how to prepare …

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Two pilot lights are better than one

From Deep in the Heart of Texas, we got this question from “So Frustrated”: I have 2 pilot lights after replacing the thermopile assembly. I know there is only suppose to be one small blue pilot light but my water heater died last week and Reliance told me it was the thermopile. Got a new …

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Where to find time travelers

Glazed donut

Secret Undisclosed Person of Minneapolis, MN asks: Where can I find me some time travelers?

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Bioluminescent Reindeer and the Value of Diversity

Gerry Bartholomew writes: Is it just me, or was Santa kind of a shit to Rudolph?

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Becoming a Quantum Mechanic

Tyler Tork, Quantum Mechanic

Dear Tyler (writes Woody Desmond of No Particular Place): I saw from your FB that you have become a Quantum Mechanic. Is much training needed for this? I’m interested in a career change esp. if there’s money in it. Woody, The field of Quantum Mechanics is new, and pretty wide open at the moment. All …

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The Squirrel Alarm

Dear Tyler, (writes Ferdy Johns of Ely MN) I’m not an early riser by inclination, but the last few mornings, I’ve been awakened by a tiny red squirrel who shows up at sunrise to throw pine-cones onto my roof. I’m far enough out in the country that nobody would be bothered if I just shot …

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