The versatility of W

Gordon B asks (unintentionally):

Why don’t the Welsh use any vowels?

“W” is a vowel to the Welsh. In historical times, there wasn’t much to do in Wales during the winter (now they have the internet), and, you know, w is a fun letter to draw, and it’s got a nice round sound to it (in Welsh), so during those dark winter days they would sit around the rough-hewn table coming up with new w-words. “Cwm,” Grandfather would mutter. “That’s yonder valley. Don’t care to call ’em valleys no more. That’s a sissy word. Cwm, now, that’s got heft.”

“Aye,” says his daughter-in-law, Mwg. “And that little round boat of Dwg’s, figger we need a special word for that. Guess we can call it a cwrwgl. That’s two w’s, very nice.”

Dwg looks up from repairing a hole in his fishing net. “…wgl?” he says, doubtfully.

“Don’t argue with me,” she warns, “or you can sleep out in the barn with the cwws.”

“Cwrwgl,” Dwg says. “I like it.”